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Feb 23, 2012

The Saddest Thing I Ever Read

You will not believe what I read yesterday. It made me so sad that I had to tell you about it, even though I'd rather let it stew a bit... But this sad thing was burning a hole in my psyche so I just had to get rid of it. I needed to tell someone. Thank God you are here!

So, I ran a few errands yesterday, and ended up having some time to kill before I picked up MiniMe at school. The library is across the street from the school, so I returned some books and cruised the stacks for more. I couldn't find any new titles that really caught my eye, and truth be told I still have a couple of books left over from the last " library run" my family made. I wandered on over to the periodical shelves. Picked up a magazine and sat down for a quick read. I love magazines, but I hate them. They pile up, they mock me with their articles about organization and stylish clothes and Interior Design.... but I digress...

I had picked up a very popular lifestyle magazine and I started flipping through it's pages. I came across an article where an editor had asked some of that month's contributors to answer a few random questions.

The question in question here was: "What one thing have you gotten rid of that you never really missed?".

And the Saddest Thing I Have Ever Read was a response to that question.

The response was: "Negative people. I am constantly reevaluating relationships. When I realize that a friend isn't being supportive or positive, I politely disengage."

Seriously, I thought that that was the saddest thing I have ever read. I realize that no one wants to be around the ever negative Nelly, but to just go through life, evaluating how supportive and positive your friends are?  And then if they aren't "Shiny Happy People" all the time, you just cut them loose? What an awful and selfish way to look at friends and friendship.

I don't even want to give the person's name or the title of the article or the title of the magazine. I don't want to "out" the person, because it's just too sad. They may someday come to their senses and I don't want their new friends to be afraid to love that person based on the response they gave at that one moment in time.

Yes, there are cases where we have to cut people loose from our lives. People whom we thought were our friends, who turn out not to be our friends. But that's not what we're talking about here.

I need to tell you that I have fabulous friends and I love them. They are beautiful and friendly and funny and wonderful and supportive, not to mention good for my ego. I hope that I am the same for them.  If your friends don't make you feel this way, you should cut them loose and find new people. No, just kidding! Love your friends.

We all have different types of friends; the other Moms at school with whom we have nothing except our children in common, the other women in our yoga class with whom we occasionally have a cup of tea, and what I call "Forever Friends". 

I don't have many friends, but the friends that I do have are Forever Friends. Some people count all of their acquaintances, neighbors and fellow book club members as friends. I do not. I hold friendship as an honor near and dear to my heart. My friends can call me in the middle of the night, they can tell me that my jeans make my butt look fat and they can suggest that I wear Spanx under the dress I just bought. They can talk to me about their wins, their losses, their kids, their parents. Well, I've already established that they are my friends so I'm just repeating myself here.

We can't all be positive and supportive all of the time. We just can't. Stuff happens. It happens to all of us and when stuff happens, sometimes we need our friends. We need our friends so that we can't tell someone the stuff that we can't tell our family or the world at large. I know for sure that there have been times when I was an absolute neurotic mess and I tried to be nice to everyone, but sometimes my problems or issues just got the best of me. And if there is ever a time where my friends are not being positive or supportive (as if), I hope that it's because it's time for me to be supportive and positive for them.

Ask me what I miss most about SoFlo and I will tell you. It's my friends. My wonderful, wacky, supportive, loving, foodie, yoga practicing friends. I love them very much.

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