What is Wrong With Me?

I swear. I can NOT make chicken soup!

What is wrong with me?! Someone please tell me!

I google recipes for chicken souup. I read recipes for chicken soup.

I write them down. I study them.

I buy rotisserie chickens and styrofoam trays of cellophane wrapped "soup greens".

I buy cut up fryers organic, locally grown, dirty because they were just wrestled from the ground this morning veggies.

I buy bouillion (ew). I buy "Better Than Buillion" (YUM).

I buy chicken stock. I buy Organic Chicken Stock.

I buy Rachael Ray's Chicken Stock.

I buy College Inn Chicken Stock.

I buy wine. I try putting some in the soup.

I MAKE chicken stock from the present chicken and freeze it until I have the NEXT chicken.

And still! SUCKY CHICKEN SOUP!

sniff sniff.

My chicken always comes out dry.

The veggies never NEVER have any flavor or texture.

Big Daddy lives dangerously and claims that my Chicken Soup has no taste.

I add Salt!

I add Bouillion!

I add White Pepper!

I add Black Pepper!

I add Hot Sauce!

sigh

I hang my head in shame.

I can't make brownies from the box, either.